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Diehard White Sox fan amuses himself by scaring every Cubs fan he sees strutting down the street in
their obnoxious Cubs shirts. He swerves his van as if to hit them, and then swerves back just missing them.
One day, while driving along, he saw a priest.
He thought he would do a good deed, so he pulled over and asked the priest "Where are you going Father?"
"I'm going
to give mass at St. Francis Church, about 2 miles down the road," replied the priest.
"Climb in Father! I'll give you
a lift!" said the man.
The priest climbed into the rear passenger seat, and they continued down the road. Suddenly,
the driver saw an Cubs fan walking down the road, and he instinctively swerved as if to hit him. But, as usual, he swerved
back into the road just in time. Even though he was certain that he had missed he guy, he still heard a loud "THUD."
Not
understanding where the noise came from, he glanced back in his mirrors but still didn't see anything. He then remembered
the priest and he turned to the priest and said "Sorry Father, I almost hit that Cubs fan."
"That's okay," replied
the priest, "I got him with the door."
GO WHITE
SOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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There were four Chicago fans on a moutian.There was a Wolf's
fan ,a Black-Hawlk's fan ,a Sox fan ,and a Cubs fan.The Wolf's fan jumps off the moutian and says "this is for the Wolfs."The
Black-Hawlk's fan jumps off and says "this is for the Black-Hawlks."Then, the Sox fan says "this is for the south side".Then
he pushes the Cubs fan off the moutian.
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Men vs Women at the cash machine...
A sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
"Please note that this Bank is
installing new Drive-through teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without
leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing
their accounts.
After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow
the appropriate steps for your gender."
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down
your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
FEMALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate
card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the
inside
back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate
wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18.
Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22.
Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver
waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26.
Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.
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